A Word of Thanks

Hello, my lovely readers!  I had to thank you for your kind encouragement yesterday and today.

The response to Thursday’s Training Goals by Age post had me discouraged for several reasons.  After all the negative feedback, I suddenly felt doubts about my capabilities/future as a mother, a first-time fear/dislike of my readership, and worry that perhaps I’d crossed a line of ‘giving advice’ that I had no right to.  However, when I posted my Clarification post yesterday, the outpouring of support was overwhelming.  I got texts, personal emails, and so many encouraging comments that it’s going to take me days to respond to them all (I still plan on doing just that though, so check back!).

I will continue to only give advice where I feel qualified to give it, but will not ‘censor’ my posts out of fear of  negative responses. So rest assured, your voices have been heard.  I was very encouraged and felt so much support and love from you all.  This blogging encouragement thing really goes BOTH ways.  So thank you.

By the way, I have continued to get both positive and negative feedback on my Ages 1-16 Goals post, something that obviously tapped into a lot of strong feelings about what children should be expected to do and how parents should or should not raise them.  However, in the interest of keeping the Mommy Wars to a minimum on my site and so that I can’t be accused of censoring my comments, I will not be publishing any of them.  I want my website to be a place of help, refuge and encouragement for all, not a place of arguing over firearm safety or weaning practices.

A big hug to all of you!  Thanks for being awesome.


18 thoughts on “A Word of Thanks

  1. Elizabeth Long says:

    Kelsey, I have been enjoying your blog for a while now, and was so frustrated when I read about the way you were treated by some. I am a Mom to a 15 and 12 year old, and thought your post on goals was amazing. I wished I had had that when my kids were growing up. Not as a “set in stone” thing, but a “working toward it” thing – the way you meant it to be. Any mom knows that we must go with the flow.
    We basically learn that immediately, when our babies are little, and you obviously know that too. Your insight and instinct I think can be intimidating to some. Especially those that doubt themselves and judge their own parenting skills too harshly. Their negativity comes from their self-doubt, it’s just a protection mechanism. Do not let it sway you. Not to mention that reading is a passive activity – you don’t like what it says? don’t read it. Find another blog. I was reminded of Martha Stewart when I thought about this. What people need to do is is look at her beautifully set dining table (maybe gold embossed place cards are over the top) in the magazine, and say to themselves “wow, I wouldn’t do all of this, but I really like a few of the ideas” and then use those few ideas on their own table. You don’t have to re-create the whole table! And you don’t have to hate Martha Stewart because she created a tablescape that is more than you would ever do. Use the ideas that suit you. We can all benefit as support to each other, everyone has something to offer. I for one, am grateful that you have chosen to do what you do. Remember that so many admire and appreciate your talent, and heart, and let this experience help you grow stronger.

  2. lina says:

    Thank God you are feeling better ! You are a wonderful mom and I love reading your posts .

  3. Jennifer says:

    Maybe this will be encouraging, an article written for bloggers dealing with negativity _You can find Bethany on facebook or visit the Love Grows Design blog_ Happy reading! 🙂

    Love Grows Design
    April 21
    I’m back to blogging and I’m pretty excited about this week’s posts! Today I’m sharing a valuable blogging lesson which might actually be more of a life lesson. Quit worrying about the critics and trolls and what they might not understand. Instead, focus on reaching the people who really matter- the ones who love you and really want to learn from you!

  4. bristolmum says:

    For every one negative opinion of a blog post, there will always be many, many more posive opinions, just remember that. I absolutely love reading your blog so please keep up the good work! Hilary

  5. “By the way, I have continued to get both positive and negative feedback on my Ages 1-16 Goals post… However, in the interest of keeping the Mommy Wars to a minimum on my site and so that I can’t be accused of censoring my comments, I will not be publishing any of them.”

    Well, that’s unfortunate. It’s discouraging to spend time writing (what I think is) a well-thought-out response to something only to have it never be seen.

    I suppose it’s my own fault – I should have put it somewhere else so I could at least put it on my own blog. Oh well. Lesson learned.

    • I'm Kelsey! says:

      Every comment is read by me, Athena, so nothing was wasted. 🙂 I sent you a copy of your comment to your gmail inbox. God bless!

  6. Liz says:

    I’ve been traveling and did not get a chance to catch up on reading the blog since the goals post. While I may not agree with all the goals the fact that you took the time to write them out and give them the thought is amazing! You are so much more likely to reach those goals when they are something that is thought out and when it can be built upon! I love your blog! Don’t let the jealous people who have children who don’t do the things on your list make you feel like you are in the wrong. Motherhood is a journey, and as mothers we should be encouraging each other in our goals for our kids.

  7. TwinMom (Bethany) says:

    I just discovered your blog over the weekend. Thank you for posting your training goals and your thoughtful responses to the negative criticism. My husband and I also have lofty goals for our children, but I never thought to sit down and flesh out those goals into year-by-year milestones.

    I have heard all too often from well-meaning older parents comments along the lines of, “Your girls are so pretty and sweet! But just WAIT until they are teenagers.” One woman told me something like, “When they are little they step on your toes, but when they grow up they step on your heart.” At first these “insights” frustrated me to no end, but eventually it became clear to me what a vastly different worldview these parents hold from my own. For now, I feel rather isolated as a SAHM with ambitious plans for my children, but blogs like yours provide much-needed encouragement and ideas. Even if you are more cautious about offering “advice” on your blog (although I’m not sure you should be since I am not convinced your training goals post actually fell into that category…) I hope you will still present ideas that can be bounced around by those of us who, for the moment, have few other places to turn to for such interaction. Iron sharpens iron…

  8. Catherine Murzyn says:

    I just happened to stumble on your blog today(!) and I’ve read a few (like 10 already in the last hour) of your posts. I just wanted to say that this is YOUR blog, not those other mama’s out there. You are entitled to your opinion. While I may not quite agree on some of the things you’ve listed for the ages, I will take what I can use and go with it. No harm, no foul. =) Hang in there and keep posting! I really love what you have to say. Something else that comes to mind when I read the unnecessary comments that were left… When I was pregnant with my son, EVERYONE and I mean everyone I knew (and strangers) felt they needed to impart on me how to raise my child, what to do and not do, etc… Some of the things they told me made me wish my son would just stay in my tummy. HAHAHA BUT, I took what was said, stored what I could in my pregnant brain and decided to take it into thought when the occasion arised. I used some of the knowledged imparted on me and didn’t use some of the great and mighty wisdom. I walked away objective and ready to handle almost anything. Know what I mean? These mamas should try to be more objective, unbiased, and non-judgemental! Please keep posting. =)

  9. Lulu says:

    Hi Kelsey, I’m not a Mom, I’m not a practising Christian and I’m not all that frugal *cough* yet…but I just wanted to say that I have learnt so much about organising my life, planning, looking ahead and seeing the good in life and in others by reading your blog. (I came across it one day while following up on the Fly Lady cleaning system). One day I would love to be blessed with children and I feel that I will be much better prepared having read your blog. I also just love your upbeat attitude, your honesty, humility and also your confidence. You’re doing a wonderful job! (At blogging, being a mom and just being a really great human!) Please do keep up the good work as I am sure there are many readers out there like me who get so much out of your posts. You’re so brave to put your thoughts out there. Remember that old saying, “you can’t please all of the people all of the time”? It’s true! But you can stay true to yourself and do what feels right for you. So, please do keep being you! And thank you for all the effort, time and care you put into this blog! Go Kelsey! Keep up the good work!

Ooh, a comment! I LOVE comments!