Women Drama

Social media has been stuffed to the brim with women drama the past few days. Abortion rights, how women are disrespected by men, abused, raped, catcalled, why they don’t get paid as much, how employers refuse to give them PAID maternity leave (ironic when paired with the previous demand), how they have to pay taxes their sanitation products, why they feel their life is so unfair and cheated at every turn. They sound so bitter, so hurting, so unloved…
I just don’t get it. Do you know why? Because I grew up with a Christian father who ALWAYS respected, protected, and cherished me. I grew up with a Christian grandfather who deeply loves, adores, and cares for his wife at every turn, and taught his sons to do the same. I grew up with a Christian father-in-law, who taught my husband how to BE A MAN by loving and protecting and honoring the women in his life (his mother, his sisters, and eventually me). I have Christian brothers who love and build up my sisters-in-law. I have dozens and dozens of Christian friends with Christian husbands, who love, provide for, and adore them. These husbands do not put them down, cheat on them, force them into ungodly submission, abuse them, catcall them, strike them, etc. Men in my community, do not use women up and throw them away afterward. Are they always perfect? Of course not. But when they stray, they repent and seek to do better. Disrespecting women is not normal or allowed.
A world where men mistreat women so fouly (though I’m not saying it doesn’t exist) seems so foreign to me.
Am I lucky? No. I’m not. Am I blessed? Yes.
Because, ladies… Hear me out on this one. If you want to be loved deeper than you could ever imagine. If you want to be protected, cared for, and cherished, find a man who would LAY HIS LIFE DOWN FOR YOU… Like Christ did. Do these men exist? They do. They really, really do. I know so many of them personally, and it’s been an honor. (Are they perfect? Of course not. But are you?)
Find yourself a Christian man. Not just someone who CALLS himself a Christian, but someone who ACTS like a Christian man should. Someone who understands the high calling of manhood and the sacrifice and rewards that entails. Someone who knows that he has to answer to GOD for how he treats you.
“Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:28-29
I know respecting your husband by default is not an American norm these days, but ladies… This sort of man is not hard to respect. It is my duty, but also my privilege.
Ladies, you won’t force men to respect you. You can’t do that by screaming at the political powers that be. You have to first be choosy of your company, and conduct yourself in such a way as to be worthy of that company.
To demand THAT sort of man, first become THAT sort of woman. But to do that, first… You’ll need Christ.

12 thoughts on “Women Drama

  1. Sarah says:

    Thoughtful and beautiful post. It is an honor to be loved and respected by my husband.

  2. From a reformed woman’s rights activist, who became a Christian, waited for my husband to follow and then continue to watch as Jesus’s Love changes my husband, AMEN! Exactly what I have been thinking.

  3. Jo says:

    I fear you may have missed the point. We’re in a culture where women could be respected as the norm, but they’re not. I have a loving husband too (to say I’m blessed with one kind of sounds like those who don’t have one did something to miss out on the blessing, so I’m not comfortable with putting it that way) but there are many, many women who are misrepresented, oppressed, trafficked even, because of their vulnerability. Those marching and drawing attention to the mismatch of ideals in the world are not doing it for the women who have a loving home environment. They’re doing it for those who don’t.

    • kylyr says:

      So much this, Jo! I read this post and though it also happens to describe my situation (amazing husband) and “blessed” childhood, it left a funny taste in my mouth. It seems to further the ‘us vs.’ thinking that gets “us” Christians in trouble. The underlying message seemed to be, “If you’d just make a good choice in a husband and also happen to have grown up in a Christian family and then only choose to be surrounded by godly people thereafter, then you won’t see a need for a march either.” Sadly, the reality is, there are many hurting women and the Christ-like response at times is to hurt with them and bear their burdens instead of chalking it up to them simply making bad choices or not “choosing a Christian man” that led them to the place where they are. That said, I don’t know that the march was the best way to bring about change and I couldn’t personally support the fact that it denied representation for one group of women in particular — the unborn.

  4. Amanda Raker says:

    Very well written.
    And Jo I am sorry but the March was filled with negativity. It wasn’t including of all women, they wanted women there that supported only their views. They did not want Trump supporters or ProLife there with them. They should have been loving, respectful and including to everyone just as they are seeking. Although they do not agree with our current Leader there is no reason to dismiss our government. We are very blessed to live in America. So many other countries women wouldn’t even be allowed to voice any type of negativity for a man and especially a leader. We should def promote love and be thankful for all we have.

  5. Jeanine says:

    Wonderful post!

  6. Amy says:

    Thank you for writing this, I know that we cannot ensure how other people treat us (male or female) but we definitely can choose who we link our lives with, be it marriage, friendship, work, etc.

  7. Kristy says:

    Girl I am with you 100 percent. I’m just not sure how our sisters, who are born into communities without strong Christian men, can choose their company. Or how our young men born to single mothers can learn to be strong Christian men when there might not be a model in their lives. My heart aches for them whose choices are slim if at all. Yes, they can maintain and do well in school and “get out” of their situations in theory, but that’s a tough climb without mental and spiritual support, let alone financial support. We the church need to be love not just in our own blessed communities but we also need to be purposeful to love the “unlovables” so that they can see there IS another way. I’m scared. It’s messy. I don’t know how to do this. But if I’m serious about trusting Him and building the Kingdom, God will open opportunities. He will equip us. May the days ahead prove the love of the body of Christ in action; to love the lost and help others know what we have come to know, that is the saving grace and truth of Jesus Christ. God break our hearts for what beaks yours then mobilize us to be your arms, your feet, your hands, your love. Amen.

  8. CBinRF says:

    I read your post out loud (with fervor!) to my coworkers and then forwarded it to them as well! Very well-written, heartfelt, true, and totally on point. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Marianne says:

    Enjoyed your post. Wish I had more Christians in my life. Guess I should go out and find them huh? Thank you for sharing an uplifting story.

  10. Nicole Darcy says:

    Love, Love, Love! Such true words! Couldn’t figure out how to share the post on Facebook, but I love it!

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